I wrote this years ago during a fit of cynicism (happens a lot). However, Silicon Valley has been bery, bery good to me.
The Big Stock Option Valley
(sung to the tune of The Big Rock Candy Mountains)
In the Big Stock Option Valley there’s a job that pays alright
Where the options grow on bushes and you vest some every night
Whether ISO or NSO or even founder’s shares
Oh, I’m bound to sign
on the bottom line
Exercise the stock and start the clock
In the Big Stock Option Valley
In the Big Stock Option Valley there’s much too much fine print
The lawyers say don’t worry, last time we got away with it
The start dates all look funny and the valuation is a joke
Dilution is assured,
but mum’s the word
The employees won’t yell
if you just don’t tell
In the Big Stock Option Valley
In the Big Stock Option Valley grants will always flow
And what you get and what you keep depends on who you know
Friends of Frank and V.C. pals don’t even need to blink
Just sit on your bum
for a handsome sum
Be a part time jerk
and call it work
In the Big Stock Option Valley
In the Big Stock Option Valley the politicos have no say
But the IRS and SEC sometimes get in the way
When the FBI comes poking around and Larry’s not returning calls
When they find the trail
of unerased email
Then you’ll go to jail
if you don’t post bail
In the Big Stock Option Valley
In the Big Stock Option Valley even if things go OK
The stock is probably worthless and you never got a raise
It is a kind of gambling, but it takes 4 years to tell
If you’ve hit pay dirt
or you lost your shirt
Try the lotto six pick
at least you’ll find out quick
In the Big Stock Option Valley